How’s it going, Adrian! I’ve had to temporarily switch locations due to the previous station being entirely covered in peanut butter and jelly after the aptly named “Peanut Butter and Jelly Invasion” of last week. Thankfully, most of us made it out unharmed, though a few succumbed to their rather extreme jelly allergies. John, Jon, Jhon, Jan, Jaan, Joan, and James, you will all be dearly missed. Enough dwelling on the jelly-filled past; it’s time to dwell on jelly-less future! The highs of this week are reaching the high 80’s, while the lows are going down to the mid 70’s. The average humidity is going down from 70% to 60% as well, making the great outdoors habitable once again. Remember to keep repeating your daily affirmations to improve our weather! The only thing that can stop the heat death of the universe is you! The Sun has decided to take a tactical retreat, most likely due to a jelly allergy, and thus will not be rising for the foreseeable future. However, the Moon will keep its usual, unpredictable course, confusing astronomers, werewolves, and local weather reporters alike. But fear not, dear reader, there is still much hope! The station management is currently in the process of making a deal with God that will allow us to see the weather all over the world—oh happy day! What’s more, the cooler weather is allowing the forest spirits to finally leave their hovels and return to bartering with the locals. All is looking up for us, all is looking up! We are all looking up, staring, unblinkingly, at the dark, fathomless, potentially jelly-riddled heavens that are space. The Sun may not rise tomorrow, but perhaps the light in the tunnel can be made by us. Until next time, dear reader, when we will cover the upcoming changes in the law of gravity!